Posts made in November, 2008
I'm Getting Paranoid
I was just talking to my mom on Yahoo the other day and I told her about the ex-friend I so hate. She said that I should try to stay away from this kind of people. Then she went on and on about how she knows how difficult it is for me to finds real friends in a foreign land. She said I should not be so desperate because real friendship develops by itself. She also told me one important thing and that is; try to be friends with people who don’t need anything from you and whom you don’t need anything from. It’s the only way you can be sure that the two parties are not using each other.
After the thing with “the ex-friend”, my interest in people lessened. I didn’t know that I would be affected that much but I noticed myself losing interest in meeting new people, Filipinas particularly. Before this whole thing happened, I was really friendly and open to people especially to those who I think are from my country. I normally smile and greet them, wave to them from afar, start small talks with them, and listen to them but I don’t do those anymore. That is sad but I can’t help but be wary. I can’t help but fear that I might be meeting somebody like Anne again.
I still keep my old friends (the ones in the picture above) and I am somehow still open to having new friends but it won’t be that easy to be friends with me now. I just don’t have to like a person but that person also should earn my friendship. I still hang out with people, go out with my classmates, spend time with colleagues and friends of my husband, and meet people but it would surely take more for someone to be my friend.
Read MoreIntegration and Language Exam in Austria
Here’s is diary entry written right after my Integration and Language Exam in Austria.
11 Oktober 2008
Gestern habe ich nicht so gut geschlafen. Ich hatte Angst weil heute meine große Prüfung war. Ich glaube dass was ich lernte ist nicht genug und ich habe so wenig geübt.
Weißt du dass ich in China deutsch gelernt habe? Ja, und meine Lehrer sind Chinesen. Sie sind gut aber… ich weiß nicht. Vielleicht, wäre es viel besser wenn ich in Österreich deutsch gelernt hätte. In diesem Fall würden meine Lehrer deutsche Muttersprachler sein und ich würde meistens deutsch gesprochen haben weil das der einzige Weg ist, dass mich die Leute hier verstehen.
In China habe ich keine Chance deutsch zu sprechen. Mein Mann spricht deutsch aber normalerweise sprechen wir auf English weil wir uns daran gewöhnt haben.
Früher hat mein Mann mich gefragt ob ich gut vorbereitet bin. Meine Antwort: ich weiß nicht. Ich bin nicht selbstbewusst genug um „Ja“ zu sagen.
Und so ich habe meine Prüfung gemacht. Die hat lange gedauert—von 8:30 bis 12:00! Sie hatte vier Teile—lesen, hören, schreiben, und sprechen. Ich glaube die ersten drei Teile habe ich gut gemacht und ich habe gute Chance, dass ich diese Teile bestanden habe aber der letzte Teil? Ich weiß nicht. Ich habe so viel geredet aber ich habe auch so viele Fehler gemacht und ich kann mich erinnern dass ich vielleicht für 30 Sekunde nicht gesprochen habe weil ich wie wir auf Englisch sagen „mental block“ hatte.
Nach der Prüfung fragte ich die Prüfer ob ich die ganze Prüfung bestanden habe und sie sagten dass ich gut schlafen kann. Leider, die Antwort war nicht so direkt wie ich das gerne gehabt hatte.
Jetzt habe ich noch Angst weil es noch kein offizielles Ergebnis gibt. Das werde ich in circa zwei Wochen bekommen. Mein Mann, meine Schwieger-Eltern und mein Schwieger-Bruder glauben ich habe die Prüfung bestanden und sie sagten dass ich darum keine Angst mehr haben muss aber ich weiß nicht. Erst wenn ich ein gutes Ergebnis sehe dann kann ich mich ausruhen.
Two weeks after the exam, I got a mail that says I passed it. Along with it is a certificate. I am so relieved that it’s over. With this certificate, I can apply for an extension of my residence permit in Austria.
Read MoreThere is One Thing
I was just talking about cultural differences between me and my husband in my other blog when I finally thought of something.
So anyway, we do have minor difficulties sometimes and most of them are pretty common to married couples but there is one particular thing that I think is unique to couples in an intercultural marriage and that is the problem on what food to eat. To date, most of our petty quarrels are about food. You see, I am an Asian. Three days without eating rice makes me feel like I am going to die soon and my husband feels the same if he can’t have potatoes or bread (good ones). When I can, I prepare two sets of meals (Asian and Western) but most of the time, I can’t. Now that I am attending a German class that runs every day from 1:00-5:30 pm, I don’t have the luxury of time to prepare two sets of meals so I can just prepare either Western or Asian. To make the matter worse, my husband is very choosy when it comes to food. So sometimes when I prepare Asian food and he doesn’t like it, he won’t complain but he won’t touch it either. Instead, he will find other things to eat. Sometimes, he’ll settle for chips and mini salamis for dinner! First I’d feel sad because he won’t eat what I cooked then afterwards I’d feel guilty because he doesn’t have a decent dinner when he comes home from a whole day of work.
Other than this particular cultural difference, I cannot think of anything else that gives us problems.
Read MoreGot My New Phone Today
I got my new iPhone today!!! It’s my husband’s birthday and Christmas present for me. Since the two occasions are in the same month, he decided to make one big gift for both occasions.
Initially he said that he’ll only give it to me on my birthday but he gave in to my constant request to be allowed to use it earlier.
I am actually using my iPhone now to write this entry and it is just so cool! I am still learning and trying different iPhone apps but I so far, I can say that this Apple device is great!
Read MoreHonesty
Honesty—I think each of us encountered this word many times in our lives and that is because it is very important in everything we do and in any relationship we engage ourselves in. Lying, keeping secrets and hiding the truth to get what you want or to avoid something are easy to do and I am sure that we’ve all been there before. I, personally, learned my lesson but not after losing some persons I value and even if I deeply regretted what I did, I was not able to turn back things the way they were. So when I met my husband and fell in love with him, I told myself to stay transparent specially about things that are important.
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