But why do I always kill the plants in our house?

It’s not like I don’t care for them. I do. But they still always die on me.

I get plants as gifts from my pupils and their moms and I appreciate all these plants. I placed all of them somewhere I think they will fit and thrive better.  I talk to them, water them, weed them, etc. but they always die. Remember that orchid we bought for our guest toilet? Yeah. That died too.

And the orchid shown on the picture is an orchid given to us on our wedding day.  It stayed at my in-laws house during the time we’ve been in China and it had been healthy there. When we moved to our own place here in Graz, we took it from them to bring to our new place.  We call it our wedding orchid and I am the steward of it.

Maybe it was a mistake to take it from my in-laws’ house because it’s never healthy as it was when it was there. I think I might be killing it too. I am not sure but when we took it, it has a lot of blooms. Now there’s just one and only bloom and the other branches are dead.  I said to myself, it is sad that I unintentionally killed all the other plants in our house but killing this one too would be a catastrophe. I can’t kill our wedding orchid! That’s just simply not right. It should thrive better under my care.

I had to do something to prevent myself from killing it.

So I googled some articles on how to take care of orchids and other plants and I learned that I should not water them that often.  Ha! It’s like that the best way to take care of orchids is not to take care of them at all. But I followed the tips I got from the net. I took out all the dead roots of our wedding orchid and repotted it. I still water it but not that often and not that much anymore. So far, it looks good because it is growing some new leaves.

I really hope that it can recover from my overwatering. I hope that it will live and bloom many flowers again.

I am not a professional photographer and I am not trying to be one but I like taking photos and I really like taking photos of people. I like to pursue this hobby but my problem right now is; there are not a lot of no willing people  I can photograph. My husband is very handsome but he’s a lousy model.  He feels uncomfortable if I ask him to make some poses for the camera. And there’s my brother-in-law who needs a lot of cajoling before he agrees to do such thing. The last time I got my brother-in-law to do a mini-photo-shooting with me was two years ago and if I ask him that now, he’d probably give me the look that says…hey, I’m a cool guy and that is so gay.

You see, he’s now a teenager and is very self-conscious. He’s no longer the cute little boy who likes to get into my nerve by pulling my hair or by pinching me. He’s now a self-proclaimed DJ and we have to be cool to be near him. I kind of miss those times when he was just a lovely boy who likes to show us crazy stuff he can do.

Time really flies away so fast.

P.S. These photos are unedited. Except for resizing and copyrighting it, I haven’t done any special editing to these photos.



winter in graz

But I will list my plans. I like plans.  At least with plans, there are always alternatives if they don’t work out. Resolutions, on the other hand, sound so drastic. Like, I “need” to change things or else I will be the same person I was in the previous year and my life will stay the way it is. Resolutions are more like promises to yourself you have to keep. They just have to be fulfilled.

Who wants such pressure? Obviously, not me.

So here are my plans for this year.

1. Put the house together in accordance to what we need and what we can afford. My husband and I just bought a house and like many other young couples who are from humble families, most of our savings went to the purchase of the house. It was also necessary for us to take a housing loan to cover that which can’t be covered by our savings. The house is “Belagsfertig”. That means, it is completely finished outside but it still needs work inside.  The heating, electrical circuits, floor, kitchen, toilet, bathroom, and the painting still need to be done and those are what we are working on right now. We decided to do some things ourselves to save some money and because we already have a very handsome credit, we agreed not to take more credit.  Hopefully, we will still be able to save money for some nice stuff for the house.

Alternative: if in case, we are not able to save money, we can always use our old stuff and be content with it until we are able to afford fancier things.

1. Make teaching props during the summer break. The most difficult part of my job is preparing teaching materials. It is taking so much of my energy and my time so to make my life easier for the next school year; I plan to prepare my teaching props this summer.

Alternative: If by chance, I can’t find time to do this during the summer break, I’ll just have to be content with the teaching props available at the learning center or I’ll just have to accept that my second year of teaching won’t be that much easier from my first year.

Those are the two main things. The less import things are as follows.

1. I plan to visit home.
2. I plan to take more pictures. I am living in a very nice city so why not compile my impressions of it?
3. I plan to save for an iMac. I do have a lappy and it is still very good but an iMac is just so… beautiful. I don’t plan to buy it this year. I just would like to save for it.
4. I plan to learn how to bake. I am already excited because I am getting my very own kitchen soon! With all the things I need for baking and cooking.
5. I plan to start a garden. The house we bought has a tiny garden! Excited, excited, excited!

Those are my plans and some of them I share with my husband.

I know. You’re probably a bit disappointed. I imagine you saying like… that’s it?!? Really? What about having a baby?

I’ve been asked about that question several times.

Baby…. hmmmm.

That will have to wait a bit.

I don’t know when exactly but I still have enough hormone pills for six months.  Haha.

Seriously though, we think we are ready but we still have wait until the house is ready and then we can start trying. *wink

Here are the things I did last year that I think contributed much to the person I am this new year.

• Successfully completed my German competency course. It wasn’t easy especially because the interest to learn this particular language was not there. There was only the need to learn it. My attitude towards it was: I am learning it because I have to and not because I think it’s fun. I could have stopped sometime in the middle of the course if I wouldn’t have cared wasting the money spent on the course (it was expensive). But there came a time when I started to appreciate it and later on, I am really glad that I did it.
• Left China for good. I could say that in my three years of stay in China, a lot of bad things happened to me but I could not deny that the best thing happened to me there as well. So it’s like, one best thing evens out all the bad experiences I had in China. China has been good to me…to us. It wasn’t always easy (especially for my Austrian husband) but living there was very beneficial for us. In China,  we experience comforts we could never afford here in Europe. I don’t know if I will ever go back there but China and the people we met there who became good friends of ours will always have a space in our hearts.
• Started a life in Austria. I had my doubts. I doubted if I ever could make it here. If I ever could get a job. If I ever could find friends. If I ever could call it a home.  This stage of my life is still a work in progress. There are still a lot about this country and its people that I have to learn. I might not like or like what I’ll learn but so far, Austria has been good to me and I think that I am in the positive way to clearing all my doubts.
• Cut down on my blogging. This was mainly because I was busy with other things. I had to prioritize stuff and that means my blogging has to be given up to some extent but because old habits die hard, I am still here and blogging. In fact, I started another blog.
• Learned how to drive and acquired a driving license. I am from a country that sees being able to drive a car as a luxury not necessity. Earlier in my life, I gave learning how to drive some thoughts but I never considered it as something I must do. That’s until I married an Austrian.  Understandably, it was not easy for me. The theory lessons were done in Austrian dialect so I have to record each lesson and listen to it over and over again so I could understand or, at least, have an idea what the lesson was about. Another thing that made it difficult was: I think I have no talent at all with driving. It is already more than four months since I acquired my license and yet, I still can’t drive well.
• Found a job in Austria. I needed three long months before I landed a job. Within these depressing months, my self-esteem hit its all time low. I am just so glad that I have a loving husband. Right now, I am very much contented with my teaching job. I am not teaching in a regular school but all the same, I am still teaching and that’s great. It’s really a huge blessing that I still can practice my profession in this country without going through the complicated nostrification (educational degree comparison and evaluation).
• Experienced a car accident. It didn’t do me any damage—no scratch. Nothing. It just left me a little bit of a shock. It was not a major accident but it left a major impact on how I look at life.  I often hear clichés like life is too short, enjoy the things you have while you still can, and etcetera but I never really cared. I mean, I know they that these lines are true but I didn’t feel that they should also apply to me but that changed. After my accident, I value my life and all the persons and the things I have more.

The rest of the day went by just like all my other Mondays. My morning was spent on grocery shopping and I went to my classes in the afternoon. The only thing that wasn’t usual was our learning center’s early Christmas dinner in the evening.

Right after my last class, I and two of my colleagues, headed off to the place. We drove in a convoy.  Tanya was driving in front because she’s the one who knows where the restaurant is. I was driving behind her and Kristin was driving behind me. It was a snowy evening and we were driving on a 30-zone winding street fully covered with snow. There was almost no traffic so I could understand that clearing this street off snow doesn’t happen in a frequent interval.

We were driving slowly and I remember Tanya being 20 meters ahead of me. Then it happened on a slightly inclined curve. The curve, although slightly descending, wasn’t that sharp at all so I am absolutely sure that I didn’t do any harsh maneuver with the steering wheel. For the life of me, I can’t understand why it happened. I just felt that my car glided, spin, hit a post, and rebounded back on the road.

When I felt the car slipped, I got nervous and in my nervousness, I left the gas pedal and the steering wheel completely letting the car control itself. It happened too fast. I didn’t even have the time to scream. The next thing I know was I was facing Kristin who is getting out of her car. How did that happened? She’s supposed to be driving behind me.

And then it dawned on me. I just had an accident. I could be dead now.

So, am I dead now?

I made a quick self-check. Does any part of my body hurt? What about bleeding? No? Really? Okay, good.

Then I went out of the car to check it. Around that time, Kristin’s worry stricken face was already right beside me. She tried to do her own physical injury check on me while shooting rapid questions which I could only summarize as, “Are you ok?”

From the look of it, she was even more shaken than me. Later on, she explained that being the one driving behind me, she saw how the whole thing happened and it looked far worse that it is.

The car, as expected, received some damages. The plate number in front is crushed and separated from the car. The bumper obtained some scratches and maybe some dents. I picked up the plate number and put it on my dashboard. There was no way I could attach it to the car so I placed it where it could be easily seen.

After checking the surroundings for damages (there was none, the post looked perfect ha!), we drove to the restaurant which is just 100 meters away from where the accident happened. I wanted to call my husband immediately after arriving at the place but Tanya advised me to calm down a little bit before calling him and that’s what I did. Later on, I realized that it is better not to tell him until I am home.

Soon enough, dinner conversations filled the air making the whole mood lighter.

By the time we were ready to go home; I was relieved to see the street wet and not snow covered. If it would have been otherwise, I wouldn’t have the nerves to drive home.  I was still terrified.

Upon reaching our building’s parking place, I took out my phone to call my husband and I’ve seen that he tried to call me several times. I also read his messages asking me if I am okay and why I won’t answer his calls. I finally called him and told him about the whole thing. Then I asked him to come down from our flat so he could take a look at the car.

I know he will not be angry and I was right.

When he saw me, he gave me a tight hug.

He said that all along, he had the feeling that something bad had happened. Then he told me that he’s thankful I am safe. He didn’t bother taking a look at the car but he promised to do it in the morning.

We talked more about it before going to bed and we agreed that I am not to drive until I practice driving on their company’s test track. That’s what we will do this weekend. I will practice driving on simulated snow and ice covered streets to get a better feeling of the car on a slippery road and to learn how to react.

The shock was completely gone after I had talked to him. The release gave me an utter sense of my being. I am alive and I am cuddled perfectly warm in my husband’s loving arms. The feeling of closeness made me truly thankful that I am alive. I thought that it would be so unfair to die when I am this happy.

Before saying our goodnights, he told me something that made my hair stand on end. He told me about the nightmare I told him that very morning. I can’t remember it completely anymore but according to him, this is what said.

“They said that the accident was so bad they needed to cut my legs off to take me out of the car.”

***

p.s. this is unedited

We can postpone them sometimes but the point will come that certain decisions have to be made and for us, the time has come to decide whether to stay in our rented flat or get a place of our own. There’s nothing wrong with our rented flat except that it is expensive. It is situated in one of those century old buildings in the center of the city. There are a lot of benefits of living in the city and it was, in the first few months of our stay here, very practical. I didn’t have a car then so it was great that I can go just about anywhere I needed to go on foot. This made my adjustment (living in a new country) period easier. I was able to develop routines and was familiarized to the city faster than if we would have stayed somewhere far from the city.

After living seven months in this flat, we realized that it is no longer working for us. I mean, we are renting a flat and in addition to that, we are also renting parking spaces. Yep, that small parcel of land where you can park a car costs us 108Euro and since we have two cars, we are paying double. We could still afford it but staying here is no longer an advantage to our finances.

We’ve thought about it thoroughly and we agreed that the most practical thing for us to do now is to look for a house we could buy. So we started looking for houses and as of writing, we haven’t found a house we like yet. Okay, that’s not true. We’ve seen just about a dozen of houses that we I really like but they’re quite too pricey for our taste.

I know that looking for a house and actually buying the house will take a while but I hope that we can find that perfect house soon. I am already super excited about it!

Damn, if I knew she’d be coming I would’ve clean the place like crazy. My mother-in-law is not that kind of mother-in-law. I never heard any criticism from her and not once did she try to mingle in my way of running our place but still…it would have been better if I would have made the place spotless clean for her visit.

So anyway, after I let her in I notice that she didn’t look sad at all. In fact, she was all smiles when she told me that she didn’t have to work that day too so she thought of visiting me. She handed me some sweets and the cake she specially made for me. Then I heard the door creaking… I must have forgotten to close it so I rushed to the entrance only to find my father-in-law standing there. By that time we were all laughing. So they both successfully surprised me.  Hah! Wait till my husband hears about this…

But I didn’t have to wait long because hubby entered the door a minute later. Hubby told me that the parents came for a small visit and will be going back to their place (2 hours drive away from our place) that same day but we should all have lunch together. We decided to go to one of those Buschenschank for lunch. On our way there, hubby pulled over to a parking place and told me to get out of the car. I was already very suspicious but didn’t have any idea what they’re playing at. Then hubby pointed to a parked car and told me that car is mine.

A grey and apple green Smart—just what I have in mind for a perfect car for me. I was literally shrieking. So… they all connived in planning all this. Hubby bought the car and my in-laws delivered it.  They were really successful in keeping it a secret from me until the very last moment.

A lot of hugging and “thank yous” followed after that then we headed off for lunch—Hubby and me in my Smart and the in-laws in hubby’s car. The lunch was long and was filled with happy conversations and laughter.

Once again, I realized how blessed I am to have a loving husband and kind in-laws.

So I since live in the city and I do the (big/heavy) grocery shopping with my husband on Saturdays, I really don’t need to be able to drive a car, right? Wrong! Now that I have a job, I have to be able to drive.  The learning center where I work is in the city and it is reachable by bus but on some days, I need to work in the other learning center (branch) that is outside the city. Not just that, being able to drive is really important here. You need it for things like taking and picking up the kids to and from school, doing the shopping, going to work, etc. Now we don’t have kids yet but we will have them in the future (I hope) and we will live somewhere in the suburbs where not a lot of PUJs are in operation.

Now that I finally have a driving license, I need a car. We have a car but my husband needs it every day to go to his work. Sharing it would make things complicated because he works in a place completely opposite from my working place. Dropping me off and picking me up is unpractical specially because I only work in the afternoon and he has to leave the house at 7am. So we decided to buy another car.

I don’t need a fancy car because that’s just too impractical. What if I scratched it or damaged it (like I already did with my hubby’s car)? Things like that are likely to happen because I am a beginner. A repair cost could be expensive enough to buy another car. And being the stingy person that I am…hah! I’d like to stay safe financially.

We have some car brands in mind already but they’re definitely not Mini One or BMW One or Audi TT. Since it would be my first car, I would like to have a tiny car that is easy to handle specially for beginners like me. It should be economical but also safe (quality wise).  That’s all. If it is safe enough and good enough to take me from one place to another, it should be enough.

Our “room” was pretty simple. We didn’t have a study table, dresser, or any other fancy bedroom furniture. We had the bunk bed to sleep on and the cabinet to keep our clothes in—those were pretty much all. If we have to study, we had to do it on our bed so I am used to writing and reading while lying flat on my belly.

We also didn’t have a door.  We had a curtain instead to have a little bit of privacy. The walls we had were dull and we were not allowed to hang anything on it because my Grandma said that a paint job would cost a lot so we should try to keep the walls as they were (obviously needed a paintjob but clean).

The only time I got a room for myself was when I came to live with my mom. Sharing a room with my sister was okay. I never really had to complain about anything because between the two of us, I was more like the dork one so I think she hated the fact that she needed to share a room with me more than I with her.

Then there’s the question of whether it is good to spend money now or we should wait. Interest rates in banks are getting low so your money is just kind of sleeping there. Maybe it is good to invest it on real state but what if the economy doesn’t pick up soon or what if it gets worse? In such case it is definitely better to have the money at hand.

Those are the big things but it is a chain reaction. You see, because we don’t know if we are going to stay in Austria for a long time, we can’t decide whether to get a 24-lock-in internet or phone contract. It would such a waste if we are to move somewhere else in a few months or so. Prepaid internet is not an option because it is extremely expensive and “no internet” is NOT an option at all.

Risk is not my favorite thing so you can imagine how these things are driving me crazy.