I’m not really dreaming my life away. The title is just from a song that played inside my head as I thought of writing this post.

This post is inspired by my friend, Sterndal. Lately, she’s been writing about some of her dreams and this prompted me to think about my own dreams.

Many people think that when they reach a certain level, they’ll be contented but I don’t think that that’s the case. I believe that man is never contented, i.e.; when he reaches the point he wants nothing more. I believe that the moment you stop dreaming or stop wanting is the time you stop living.

Many people think I have a wonderful life here in Europe and I honestly think that too. I have a loving husband, a job, a house, a car, and some small things that other people don’t have. I should be contented, right?

Of course, I am.

BUT that doesn’t mean, I don’t want anything anymore.  I am happy with all the things I have and all the things my husband and I can afford to have or do and I am really thankful for each of these things.

I won’t say that everything I have, I have worked hard for because that is simply not true. Actually, I can only name two things I worked hard for and those are my first guitar and my bachelor’s degree (which is, by the way, not accepted here in Austria—depressing!). The others just happened or are given to me.

Of course, like many, I have dreamt of seeing different countries but never really thought that that’ll happen. I’ve seen China but not without help from my mom and dad. I found the teaching job in China by myself but if it wasn’t for my parent’s money, I wouldn’t have been able to afford to go there. So it’s like they sent me there. I’m now in Europe and I have my own car but being in Europe just happened and the car was just given to me by my husband.  I can speak German and I have a teaching job here but I wouldn’t have achieved those without support from my husband.  All the fancy stuff like clothes, jewelries, shoes, bags, gadgets, etc are mostly bought by me but I won’t say I’ve worked hard for all of them because I won’t be able to afford them  if I would have to worry about things like bills, food, and other necessities. My husband takes care of all our necessities. My Husband is super and having him is also something I DIDN’T work hard for. LOL. He just happened to me.

So before this post becomes a post about the things I have, I will go back to my dreams. I am a very lucky girl and I believe that I have more than what I dreamt about as a young girl but sometimes achieving a dream only makes you dream more. I had dreamed of having a job and I got it but now, I am dreaming of having a better job. I had dreamed of owning a computer and I already had a series of computers but I still want a better one each time.  Stuff like that happen to me a lot.

But if you ask me right now about my ultimate dream, I’d say I have two of them.

First is, I dream of becoming an asset to my husband. He’s done a lot for me. I also want to help him in any way I can, especially, financially. I want to get a better paying job so I can help him with the bills, with the things we need, with our holidays, etc.

Second is, I dream of being able to give something special to my parents. I know, they will not ask me but I want to do something for them. Like a European tour or something equal to that.

Of course there are other small stuff I want but I won’t include them here because these small stuff just lead to my bigger dreams.

656 words! LOL! Dreaming is good.

I don’t believe in horoscopes, palm reading, and all sorts of ways to predict the future but once in a while I would read my horoscope just for amusement. Sometimes, specially when my horoscope says something good, I would like to believe it. For example, when it says something about acquiring money (hahaha), I’d try to think about how and when will I get the money, where or whom will I get the money from, etc.  My brain will immediately evoke things then put two and two together to fulfill the prediction.  That is what they call the power of suggestion.

Last Friday, we dined in a Chinese restaurant with our good friend, Eugene. He is also a colleague of my husband. We meet at least once a week to dine or have a drink somewhere. Last Friday, we decided to eat in a Chinese restaurant to break the monotony of our “pizza nights”. Right after the meal, we were given fortune cookies. It was my first time! Imagine after living three years in China and after having eaten several times in countless REAL Chinese restaurants, I just receive my first fortune cookie in Austria! I think the “fortune cookie thing” is a Western thing disguised as an Asian thing.

So anyway, let me amuse myself and let’s go back to our fortune cookies. After I’ve eaten mine, I was reminded of Eggnog (not the alcoholic drink but the Philippine cookie). The fortune cookie I got tasted exactly like that (I like that cookie very much).  Then there was a small piece of paper where the fortune is and the one I got says “Someone is speaking well of you.” Hmmm… my brain suggested that this “someone” could be my boss who is definitely selling me good to parents of prospective pupils. My husband got “Your success will be improved each year.” He just got a promotion last July (also one last year) so it could mean that the fortune is late or it could also mean that he’ll be promoted again next year (whew!). Then Eugene got “A firm friendship will prove the foundation on your success in life.” He is good friends with my husband and if my husband gets promoted each year, it could also be good for him (hahaha).  I was not only able to see what will happen but I was also able to fit their fortunes together (*wink).

Back home some people believe that when a person gets a fortune and tells it to another person, the fortune will not happen. It’s like a counter-fortune if you let another soul know about it and that’s exactly what I just did.

***Entry written sometime in December:

Both of us have been busy all throughout the week so nobody went to buy groceries. Normally, that is my job but because my class is coming to an end and there are some important papers to prepare and exams to think about, Marcus didn’t complain when he couldn’t find anything in the fridge worth eating.

For two days, food came in from home delivery services of various restaurants but on Sunday, we realized that we have spent so much on home deliveries and tips therefore we decided to just cook our own food. Marcus volunteered to go buy some stuff but decided against it later that day. He was feeling lazy. I didn’t insist on him going out because I myself was also feeling lazy that day but before we even thought of succumbing to ordering another pizza, I decided to look in the kitchen for anything and there I found pasta. We were out of tomato sauce but I was lucky to find that quick carbonara fix I didn’t know we still have.

And that saved us from our lazy selves.

So I am now taking a break… that means I have this short time to publish a short entry.

*piles of boxes in our guestroom, dining room, and living room

The picture shows how far I am with the packing and I am pleased because I think I was able to catch up with my packing schedule today. That means, I can have a relaxing weekend.

I was also able to book and have our flights confirmed (finally!).

I will be leaving on the 6th of March and that means no blogging until I am back. After our trip, we’ll go back to Shanghai and fly from here to Austria.

I planned to pack at least three boxes a day so today I should have nine boxes done already because I started two days ago but obviously I am four boxes behind.

Aside from packing, there are other things I have to do like book our flights (for our last tropical holiday for this year) and hotels, buy some more cheap stuff here so we don’t have to buy the same stuff in Europe for 10 times the (China) price. I also have to worry about the receipts and invoices showing that we spend all the “8K Euro moving money”. I don’t exactly know how they call that but that’s what I call it. This money is given to expats for their house/moving expenses but at the end of the year/contract, expats should be able to show evidence that they spend this money on their house expenses otherwise they will have to pay taxes for this money.

So anyway…. I am swamped!

That upcoming tropical holiday better be good.

I was just talking about cultural differences between me and my husband in my other blog when I finally thought of something.

So anyway, we do have minor difficulties sometimes and most of them are pretty common to married couples but there is one particular thing that I think is unique to couples in an intercultural marriage and that is the problem on what food to eat. To date, most of our petty quarrels are about food. You see, I am an Asian. Three days without eating rice makes me feel like I am going to die soon and my husband feels the same if he can’t have potatoes or bread (good ones). When I can, I prepare two sets of meals (Asian and Western) but most of the time, I can’t. Now that I am attending a German class that runs every day from 1:00-5:30 pm, I don’t have the luxury of time to prepare two sets of meals so I can just prepare either Western or Asian. To make the matter worse, my husband is very choosy when it comes to food. So sometimes when I prepare Asian food and he doesn’t like it, he won’t complain but he won’t touch it either. Instead, he will find other things to eat. Sometimes, he’ll settle for chips and mini salamis for dinner! First I’d feel sad because he won’t eat what I cooked then afterwards I’d feel guilty because he doesn’t have a decent dinner when he comes home from a whole day of work.

Other than this particular cultural difference, I cannot think of anything else that gives us problems.

Remember about the leach I was talking to you about? The person I was referring to here and here. As you might already know, we are not in good terms. We fought and I decided that I’ll never be a friend to her again. I didn’t talk to her for months and she also didn’t talk to me and I was already ok with that.

But then she came here in Shanghai to live with her boyfriend who, as you know, is a good friend of ours. I was cool with that too. I told myself that if the situation asks that we meet, I will be civil with her and that’s what I did when Marcus and Daniel arranged a dinner before Marcus and I left for Austria. It was awkward but all went well. We didn’t exchange nasty remarks but we also didn’t make “beso-beso”. In short, it was just like we never met before.

One time while we were in Austria, I saw her come online in my Yahoo messenger. For me that was so strange because, we put each other on “Stealth” so I was surprised that I can see her online but that didn’t prompt me to appear online to her. To me, she’ll be in “Stealth” forever.

When we came back here in Shanghai a week ago, she tried calling me on our landline but because I am so accustomed to getting Chinese Telemarketers’ call, I didn’t answer our phone. Marcus always calls me on my cellphone so I don’t really answer the phone when I am not expecting a call. Then Daniel (her boyfriend) told me that she was trying to get hold of me. For me, it was like what?!? What is it that she wants now? So when I finally answered one of her calls, she was all like all sweet and nice and told me that she’s ready to forget everything.

I was like…. Ooooooohkkayyy. I did not really talk to her. I just let her babble. All I told her is “Of course we cannot return everything to normal again but you can be sure that I’ll always be civil to you.” And she was like…maybe someday we can be friends again. Iw! In my mind I was like “You wish!”, if I don’t need to be civil to you I won’t. You’re nobody to me anymore and the reason why I am agreeing to be in the same room like you are is because your boyfriend is the best friend of my husband and he is also a good friend of mine.

After the call, I wondered what she wants this time. I already know her as a userer so I am pretty sure that there is a reason behind her being all friendly again. And it didn’t take long before she revealed what she wants. She needs my help to get into the same German school where I study.

She’s stupid you know. I found that school without asking anybody’s help and she’s incapable of finding it herself!?! She’s now without a job. She has the rest of the day to do what she wants. Why can’t she simply go online and find the school since she anyhow knows the name of my school. She has to swallow her pride to ask me to take her to where I study? She’s sooo dumb.

And because I am not 100% evil, I told her that I can’t accompany her there (I’ll never go out of my way for her ever again) but when my classes start, she can go there together with me. So that’s what happened. Now, she’s enrolled in the same school like I. I thought ok… she can now shut up. But no… she had to ask me for my notes from my previous course. I simply told her I can’t lend it to her because I still need them.

I don’t need them anymore but I just don’t like to be used again. I don’t like to help her anymore in any way. I know she needs a job and I actually find one that she might be interested in but I didn’t tell her about it even though Mr. Kane explicitly asked me to refer a friend. She’s not a friend to me anymore because she does not deserve my friendship.

She can kiss my ass all she wants but she can’t change things the way they are. She shitted on me once and that’s it. I’d be stupid if I let that happen again.

Hubby went to the Formula1 race today. He did invite me to go with him months ago but I declined. It is not my thing and I refuse to spend that much for a ticket to something which I am not really interested in. So I told to just go with some of his colleagues and make it like a boys’ day out.

He and his colleagues left early this morning because they do not like to be caught up with the crowd. I stayed in bed and tried to enjoy my long Sunday morning sleep but I was not very successful because I got a call at around 9:00 am.

The caller was Mr. Kane.

We agreed to meet at 1:30 pm to talk about a possible teaching job for me. I showed up early and the place was not too far from where I live so I thought that it would be very convenient for me to work there. After a few minutes of small talk, he said that I have a pure accent and he said that that is something which is not very common to Filipinos. He said that he met a lot of Filipino applicants already and most of these applicants disappointed him (raised my eyebrows when he said that). So anyway, he said that the students will certainly like me because I speak good English and I have a face value (ahem!).

Here’s what he offers. 46 hours each month of teaching and 3500RMB of salary. That’s not a very high salary but because I like to teach, the salary doesn’t matter to me that much. I would have really accepted it if the classes were in the morning. Too bad. The classes are scattered between 4:00 to 8:00 pm and the schedule is where the problem is. I simply cannot give my German course up which is, by the way, in a school located on the other side of the city. My German course runs from 1:30 to 5:30 pm from Monday to Friday and after a 4 hour long class, all I want is just to be home.

Sigh* When can I teach?

We got here over a month ago and so far, I am liking it here. I have enrolled in language course that will run for about two months and after that, I can think of getting a full time job. For the meantime I thought of getting a side job during the days I am not at school and with the help of a friend I was able to sort of find one. I got an interview and my interviewer already expressed her interest to have me teach in their school but they only need teachers for Saturday classes so unfortunately for me, I can’t take the job.

Hubby has to work from 8am to 5pm daily but most of the time he works until 7pm or 8pm. This doesn’t give us so much time for each other during the weekdays so we badly want our weekends to be work free. This is the reason why I can’t take teaching jobs on Saturdays or Sundays.

I politely declined the offer to teach on the weekends and I asked them if they could assign a job for me from Monday to Friday but sadly, they are not in need of teachers for the weekday classes. That was disappointing but towards the end of the interview, my interviewer asked me again if I am sure about my decision not to accept the offered weekend classes. I courteously said that I am sure about it and that I am sorry. Then she told me that she’ll keep my contact details so she can call me once they have a vacancy for weekday classes and she also said that I should call her immediately if I changed my mind about teaching on Saturdays.

So anyway, for a certain time (a few days), I think that that job will be there for me so I said “I sort of find a teaching job”. I honestly believe that my interviewer likes to have me join their teaching staff and for me, it would me very nice and convenient to teach in their school. But perhaps, this job is not for me or it’s not yet the right time to have this job. I don’t know but I’ll wait and I’ll keep looking for a teaching job because it would be nice to be able to teach again.

Things are looking up for us and I am quite pleased.

We will move in another city and we will stay there for two years. In this time, I don’t know if I will be able to find a day job and I don’t know if I would even try to find one. I am happy with my blogging and I do earn money from it and that should be okay for now.

These two years can be spent on something else like going back to school for instance. I have a degree in Education but right now I have a growing interest in web and graphic designing so if I can find a suitable school then I will most probably study.