I was just talking to my mom on Yahoo the other day and I told her about the ex-friend I so hate. She said that I should try to stay away from this kind of people. Then she went on and on about how she knows how difficult it is for me to finds real friends in a foreign land. She said I should not be so desperate because real friendship develops by itself. She also told me one important thing and that is; try to be friends with people who don’t need anything from you and whom you don’t need anything from. It’s the only way you can be sure that the two parties are not using each other.

After the thing with “the ex-friend”, my interest in people lessened. I didn’t know that I would be affected that much but I noticed myself losing interest in meeting new people, Filipinas particularly. Before this whole thing happened, I was really friendly and open to people especially to those who I think are from my country. I normally smile  and greet them, wave to them from afar, start small talks with them, and listen to them but I don’t do those anymore. That is sad but I can’t help but be wary. I can’t help but fear that I might be meeting somebody like Anne again.

I still keep my old friends (the ones in the picture above) and I am somehow still open to having new friends but it won’t be that easy to be friends with me now. I just don’t have to like a person but that person also should earn my friendship. I still hang out with people, go out with my classmates, spend time with colleagues and friends of my husband, and meet people but it would surely take more for someone to be my friend.

Remember about the leach I was talking to you about? The person I was referring to here and here. As you might already know, we are not in good terms. We fought and I decided that I’ll never be a friend to her again. I didn’t talk to her for months and she also didn’t talk to me and I was already ok with that.

But then she came here in Shanghai to live with her boyfriend who, as you know, is a good friend of ours. I was cool with that too. I told myself that if the situation asks that we meet, I will be civil with her and that’s what I did when Marcus and Daniel arranged a dinner before Marcus and I left for Austria. It was awkward but all went well. We didn’t exchange nasty remarks but we also didn’t make “beso-beso”. In short, it was just like we never met before.

One time while we were in Austria, I saw her come online in my Yahoo messenger. For me that was so strange because, we put each other on “Stealth” so I was surprised that I can see her online but that didn’t prompt me to appear online to her. To me, she’ll be in “Stealth” forever.

When we came back here in Shanghai a week ago, she tried calling me on our landline but because I am so accustomed to getting Chinese Telemarketers’ call, I didn’t answer our phone. Marcus always calls me on my cellphone so I don’t really answer the phone when I am not expecting a call. Then Daniel (her boyfriend) told me that she was trying to get hold of me. For me, it was like what?!? What is it that she wants now? So when I finally answered one of her calls, she was all like all sweet and nice and told me that she’s ready to forget everything.

I was like…. Ooooooohkkayyy. I did not really talk to her. I just let her babble. All I told her is “Of course we cannot return everything to normal again but you can be sure that I’ll always be civil to you.” And she was like…maybe someday we can be friends again. Iw! In my mind I was like “You wish!”, if I don’t need to be civil to you I won’t. You’re nobody to me anymore and the reason why I am agreeing to be in the same room like you are is because your boyfriend is the best friend of my husband and he is also a good friend of mine.

After the call, I wondered what she wants this time. I already know her as a userer so I am pretty sure that there is a reason behind her being all friendly again. And it didn’t take long before she revealed what she wants. She needs my help to get into the same German school where I study.

She’s stupid you know. I found that school without asking anybody’s help and she’s incapable of finding it herself!?! She’s now without a job. She has the rest of the day to do what she wants. Why can’t she simply go online and find the school since she anyhow knows the name of my school. She has to swallow her pride to ask me to take her to where I study? She’s sooo dumb.

And because I am not 100% evil, I told her that I can’t accompany her there (I’ll never go out of my way for her ever again) but when my classes start, she can go there together with me. So that’s what happened. Now, she’s enrolled in the same school like I. I thought ok… she can now shut up. But no… she had to ask me for my notes from my previous course. I simply told her I can’t lend it to her because I still need them.

I don’t need them anymore but I just don’t like to be used again. I don’t like to help her anymore in any way. I know she needs a job and I actually find one that she might be interested in but I didn’t tell her about it even though Mr. Kane explicitly asked me to refer a friend. She’s not a friend to me anymore because she does not deserve my friendship.

She can kiss my ass all she wants but she can’t change things the way they are. She shitted on me once and that’s it. I’d be stupid if I let that happen again.

I didn’t know her too well. She was just introduced to me by an acquaintance in a party. But I know him. He is my husband’s best bud. He was single so I was tempted to play cupid and introduced a girl to him. I arranged a meeting for them—my husband’s best bud and the girl I didn’t know really well. This girl was so open and willing to meet him and probably start a relationship with him. She was really simple. Not a beauty but you can’t say she’s ugly. I talked to her a little bit before and she seemed nice.

So they met and after two nights she slept with him. I was surprised because I see her as shy, timid, and idealistic when it comes to relationship. Meaning, she’d play it more traditional, she’d let him court her a little bit longer, she’d try to know him really well before they get intimate. But that was not the case. He’s 35 and he’s no James Dean. He’s clumsy and he appears to be grumpy all the time so imagine my surprise when someone rushed to bed with him. But I thought, maybe he swoon her by his kindness. So fine.

After a month, she started asking him for money. It started with 150 Euro. She asked this money because according to her, a good friend of her really needs help and she badly wants to help this friend. He gave her the money. The second time, she told him that she have to pay an amount to a loaning company otherwise her parents’ house (back home in the Philippines) will be evicted. He gave her again. Last month, her salary was delayed so she borrowed an amount from him which is equal to her month’s salary. When she finally got her “delayed” salary, she didn’t give it back to him. So fine. Last June, he needed to be in Shanghai to work. He offered her to come with him. She refused and told him that she’d follow after a few months. So he went alone.

This month, she needed to go through an operation that will cost her 500Euro (we are in china, everything is cheap). He gave her 600Euro but she asked for 150Euro more. I was the one depositing the money to her bank account because he is so busy with his work and because we are good friends, he asked for my help. First I deposited the 600 Euro. When he asked me to deposit another 150 Euro, I told him I can’t it because I am also busy but the truth is, I didn’t want to have any part of it anymore. But it didn’t say that to him. I want to tell it to her first and I want to wait after her operation.

He is not exactly rich. He is financially sound but not rich. He’s obviously in love with her. And she? Well, back home she has 6 siblings and none of them has a job. Her parents are both old and jobless. She has 4 older brothers, 2 of which have their own families and kids. She has one younger sister and one younger brother whom she is sending to school. In short they are poor and all the members of the family depend on what she can send them each month to them. They are very poor but I am not saying that it’s her fault to belong to a poor family. I am actually saluting her that she was able to rise above it. But for her to tolerate her older brothers not to find jobs for themselves is something I consider so wrong. She’s not responsible for them and for their kids. Is she in love with him? At first, I believed that’s the case but based on how things are going on since the last few months; I came to believe she really does not love him. She sends all money she can get her hands on to her family back home. She sends her complete salary back home and let him pay for her flat, her bills, and her daily expenses like food and taxi fares. I am not stopping to send money to her family back home… but why can’t she send half of her salry and use the other half to finance her living since she anyhow choose not to live with him? It’s all unfair to him. She’s just using him and I pity him.

Somehow I felt responsible because I introduced her to him. I really feel bad and I pity him. But I can’t tell him what I think about her now. No, I am not that kind of person. But I will talk to her directly and tell her what I think and we will see if it changes anything.

What do you think?