All the times that I was put in such situation, I felt under the pressure of being expected to be able to talk in their language simply because I was living there.

It is really too bad that I didn’t learn how to speak Chinese in my three years of living in China because I could have learn a lot from people who stopped by to have a chit chat with me. I always felt that these are the people who are genuinely friendly. In China if somebody approaches me and start to talk to me in English, I usually get suspicious because I know from experience that these people more likely want to sell me something.

In Austria it is pretty much the same except that people here don’t come to you and speak to you in English just to sell you something. I am glad they don’t do that. But I say it is the same because I still have this feeling—the irritating feeling that I am expected to speak in German just for the simple reason that I am here.

I can say that I can understand German fairly well (and when I say “German”, I mean “high German”) but I still have the trouble of speaking in German. After taking two German language courses, my confidence in speaking the language goes as far as greeting people. So if I enter a store or any kind of establishment, that’s what I do because that’s what they do (hell, Austrian people greet so much!). I greet them in their language just to be polite but my greetings always come with a prayer—a prayer that I only receive a greeting back…NOTHING MORE. But Austria seems to be a place of very polite and friendly people so after exchanging civil greetings, you can expect a small chit chat—it’s completely normal here to exchange a few kind words to strangers. If you greet them, you can expect a greeting back, an offer to help you, then probably question about your well being or a slight remark about the weather. If you don’t greet them, it doesn’t matter… they will still greet you. I actually think it is lovely that they are like that but the problem is that I can’t understand them because although I can understand German, they don’t speak German. They speak an Austrian dialect that sounds so funny to me.

So what happens is, I get stunned or I appear to get stunned. I just sort of stop there and try to process as fast as I can what was said. In most cases, I get nervous and so I just reply to them in English. It’s really difficult for me. You see, I need time to process what was said then I also need time to think of what to reply in German. Imagine the stress! Then there’s the pressure of wanting to reply quickly because you don’t want the other person to wait hours for what you’ll have to say.

If I am lucky, I am able to reply in German and in time but if my nervousness gets ahead of me, I am sure to awkwardly reply in English. If I am luckier, the person will simply smile and start to talk to me in English. If is not my day, I can only expect an awkward silence.

I am glad that we will have Karin for today and for the next two days. It’s good to have a break from Herr Bucher. With Karin, the class is relaxed and pleasant. We even call each other by first names but with Herr Bucher, we play it formal and call each other by our last names so imagine what complaints my Chinese classmates have whenever they have to call me by my long compounded last name. I like learning German but teacher like Herr Bucher makes me hate it.

We were in the class that day and we were talking about fast food. What a topic! So anyway, my German teacher (who is from Northern Germany) asked me what fast food is common in the Philippines. So I said we have restaurants like McDonalds and KFCs but he said that those are from America. I said, if such food from such restaurants are not counted then I really can’t think of any Philippine fast food. Then he asked, what about noodles? I said, “No, instant noodles are from China (Instand Noodles sind aus China).” And I said China as “Kina”. Then he said something that made my blood rush to my head.

A-hole (in a really sarcastic way): “Kina?!?” Only the Austrians say “Kina!”
Me (took it as a direct attack to my husband): Is that so? I am sure that people from south of Germany also say “Kina”.
A-hole (cornered): Yeahhhh…. But the right pronunciation is “China” like the “ch” in “ich”.
Me: Ok, then. Instant Noodles sind aus China (tried to say right).
A-hole (smirking so arrogantly): “Chhhhiiiii-na” (stressing the sound).
Me: “China” (Tried to say the word again but was sounding funny). I am sorry sir, it’s difficult for me. I need more practice.
A-hole (still smirking so arrogantly): If you wanna learn “high German” you should learn how to pronounce the words properly.
Me (really angry now): Well sorry sir but it is not my aim to speak like the Germans do. I just want to be understood. How many brain cells will you need to understand that when I said “Kina” I meant this big country in Asia where the Chinese are from?
A-hole (got angry too): If you continue to speak like that, people will think you have a stupid teacher.
Me: I don’t think so. If I speak like this, people will know that I am not German and that is a beautiful thing (sarcastic). Accent is beautiful, it is part of what you are, and it arouses people’s interest. If you don’t speak like them, they’d be interested to know where you are from.
A-hole (cornered): I don’t care. I am the teacher in this class. I make the rules. You are the students, you follow.

There was a long discussion after that. One classmate came to my rescue but the two others remained quiet. I can’t remember now how it ended but it didn’t end well. So anyway, all throughout the class I had this sour look on my face and he noticed that because he asked if we can talk during the break and so we did.

A-hole: Can we talk outside.
Me: Why not just here?
A-hole: Cause I need to smoke.
Me: Fine. (we went outside). Can we talk in English?
A-hole: Yeah, ok.
Me: so?
A-hole: I noticed that what happened in there made you angry.
Me: Off the records. Yes, that made me angry.
A-hole: Sorry but we had this discussion before. I just realized now that you were not here when it happened the first time. So when it came up again, I got irritated immediately.
Me: I hope that next time…, when something like this comes up, you should also remember that we are all adults in there. You don’t need to treat us like kids. I hope you’d handle matters better.
A-hole: Handle matters better… hmmm? Tell me, how would that be? You are a teacher too right?
Me: Yes and if it would have been me in front, I would have handled it differently.
A-hole: How exactly?
Me: I don’t know…. Just in a less-asshole kind of way I guess.
A-hole (blown away cause of the word asshole): (Let out a deep breath) Ok. I’ll remember that. So I am really sorry again.
Me: Ok, I’ll go inside now because I feel cold out here.

So he asked for forgiveness but I don’t really think that was genuine. He’ll be my teacher again later and I don’t know what will happen. I will act like nothing happened but if he acts like an asshole to me again; he’ll be hearing words he can’t stomach. He can be sure of that.