A few weeks ago, we went to visit my in-laws and while we were there, we were invited to a neighborhood gathering. A lot of people from the neighborhood came and I got acquainted with some really nice people but understandably, I got bored at some point because they were all talking rapidly in German (or Austrian dialect) and it was just so impossible for me to follow the conversation.

So I left the table and I am sooooo glad I did.

After saying my excuses, I joined the children. They were playing but I got their attention at once. They gathered around me and tried to talk to me in English. After a while I found myself playing and doing activities with them and they were all having fun. Then one of the mothers came to have a little chit chat with me. She told me that I am really good with children and so I told her that it is because I am a teacher and I really miss teaching. Then she told me that I should try applying in the learning center where her daughter gets her math lessons from. She told me that I have a big chance of getting a teaching job there. Then she gave me the information of the learning center.

I called the learning center and I learned that it is a really big organization and that it has learning centers all over Austria. They told me that there is a branch in Graz (where we live) and that they need teachers. I immediately called the branch and I got an interview at once. After the interview, I was told that I’ll definitely be hired after I complete the two weeks training.

And that’s what I am doing now.

I have successfully passed the first stage of the training (thank God) and the second stage will run until Sunday. It is quite difficult because the training is very intensive but I think I will be able to manage until the very end.

After the training I’ll sign my job contract and I will start to work in September (fall semester). It doesn’t matter that I can’t speak perfect German because the classes are done in English.

I am so glad!

For three months, I was constantly trying to get a job. There were times when I thought, I’ve no chance to teach here at all and it was in those times when I really felt emotionally down.

But right now, I am on the clouds! I have tons of demo lessons to prepare and I know that like the previous nights, I’ll spend the following nights making visual aids and teaching materials but I feel quite good.

I am going to teach again! What could be better than that?!?

In between my driving lessons and job applications, there’s nothing. Until now, I still don’t have a job. Sometime ago, I got a positive feedback from one of my applications and that made me so happy and excited but somehow the head of the institution I applied to changed her mind about hiring additional staff. And there was also the job offer I got from an older guy whose intensions, I am sure, are far from decent.

Thing is, it is easy to get a job here in Austria but it is difficult to find the job I want. I can’t practice my profession here simply because my degree is a foreign one and if I want to practice that here, I have to get it nostrificated. That means I have to have my degree evaluated. They’ll see if the subjects I took up are the same to the subjects they offer here for the same degree (course). That could mean further studying for at least a year or two… and I don’t want that.

So I said,… ok, I can’t teach but I know I am capable of doing office jobs and so that’s the kind of job I am applying to (office assistant, receptionist, and the sort) but I still have no luck.

I feel like even if I have enough education and job experience, I am still forced to take manual jobs simply because I am an immigrant in this country. I am not saying that people here are racist but being an immigrant means a lot of things like… first, my knowledge of their language is not sufficient enough for the jobs I want and my degree is not an Austrian degree therefore, I can’t teach here.

Sometimes I am tempted to accept jobs (janitress, dishwasher, etc.) just to have a “job” and there was a time when I almost accept one but my husband won’t consent that I do so. He said it would be a shame to waste my years in the university by taking such jobs. He wants me to get my degree nostrificated no matter how much and how long it’ll take but I don’t know. I don’t feel like I am up to experiencing college life again.

I don’t know how it’ll all go from here.

There’s the German course to look forward to. I am going to continue learning German because I want to further improve my German skills and well… that’ll give me something to do.

Momentan ist Blogging ein perfekter Job für mich, aber in der Zukunft möchte ich wieder als Lehrerin arbeiten. Kinderunterrichten ist meine erste Liebe deshalb wäre ich glücklicher, wenn ich in der Zukunft unterrichten könnte.

I also feel that I am losing my friends. The people I know. I feel that somehow they are getting more and more out of reach for me. Sigh*

Being unemployed sucks! It makes you think a lot about things you normally don’t think about that often. It makes lose your self esteem slowly. It makes you overlook at the good things that are happening to you.

Francis is there. He loves me. He can very well provide for everything that I need. We are together and everything between us is pleasant. We don’t fight. We don’t argue. We’re not bored. We do fun things together like cooking, cuddling, talking, watching our favorite TV series and other activities like spending the weekends somewhere and doing something new. I am thankful for all these things but somehow life is not complete for me. Somehow, I feel useless.

I don’t want to be too dependent on Francis financially. I want to be useful to myself. I want to earn money for my own. Sure, Francis gives me money but it makes me feel bad using this money for my caprices… not that I do it that often but still. It’s not a good feeling getting my caprices this way. I want to keep whatever I have with Francis. I want our living situation as it is but I also want a job. Is that too much to ask?