They grew up in the same place and went to the same schools. They’ve been exclusive since they became sweethearts at age 14. At the age of 16, they became a couple and at 20, they became husband and wife. 30 years later, they still share kisses and they still hold hands.

I find it amazing.

Couples like them make me believe more in “happy ever after“  and now that I am married, I wonder how far my husband and I could go. A year of marriage is nothing compared to 30 years. We are still on the starting line. Life is still all sunshine and meadows for us. We have not exactly encountered a major problem yet and we never had a major fight. Everything is still pleasant. Not that I am waiting for bad things to happen. I am just hoping that when they do, my husband and I will also be able to surpass them.

So they met and after two nights she slept with him. I was surprised because I see her as shy, timid, and idealistic when it comes to relationship. Meaning, she’d play it more traditional, she’d let him court her a little bit longer, she’d try to know him really well before they get intimate. But that was not the case. He’s 35 and he’s no James Dean. He’s clumsy and he appears to be grumpy all the time so imagine my surprise when someone rushed to bed with him. But I thought, maybe he swoon her by his kindness. So fine.

After a month, she started asking him for money. It started with 150 Euro. She asked this money because according to her, a good friend of her really needs help and she badly wants to help this friend. He gave her the money. The second time, she told him that she have to pay an amount to a loaning company otherwise her parents’ house (back home in the Philippines) will be evicted. He gave her again. Last month, her salary was delayed so she borrowed an amount from him which is equal to her month’s salary. When she finally got her “delayed” salary, she didn’t give it back to him. So fine. Last June, he needed to be in Shanghai to work. He offered her to come with him. She refused and told him that she’d follow after a few months. So he went alone.

This month, she needed to go through an operation that will cost her 500Euro (we are in china, everything is cheap). He gave her 600Euro but she asked for 150Euro more. I was the one depositing the money to her bank account because he is so busy with his work and because we are good friends, he asked for my help. First I deposited the 600 Euro. When he asked me to deposit another 150 Euro, I told him I can’t it because I am also busy but the truth is, I didn’t want to have any part of it anymore. But it didn’t say that to him. I want to tell it to her first and I want to wait after her operation.

He is not exactly rich. He is financially sound but not rich. He’s obviously in love with her. And she? Well, back home she has 6 siblings and none of them has a job. Her parents are both old and jobless. She has 4 older brothers, 2 of which have their own families and kids. She has one younger sister and one younger brother whom she is sending to school. In short they are poor and all the members of the family depend on what she can send them each month to them. They are very poor but I am not saying that it’s her fault to belong to a poor family. I am actually saluting her that she was able to rise above it. But for her to tolerate her older brothers not to find jobs for themselves is something I consider so wrong. She’s not responsible for them and for their kids. Is she in love with him? At first, I believed that’s the case but based on how things are going on since the last few months; I came to believe she really does not love him. She sends all money she can get her hands on to her family back home. She sends her complete salary back home and let him pay for her flat, her bills, and her daily expenses like food and taxi fares. I am not stopping to send money to her family back home… but why can’t she send half of her salry and use the other half to finance her living since she anyhow choose not to live with him? It’s all unfair to him. She’s just using him and I pity him.

Somehow I felt responsible because I introduced her to him. I really feel bad and I pity him. But I can’t tell him what I think about her now. No, I am not that kind of person. But I will talk to her directly and tell her what I think and we will see if it changes anything.

What do you think?